Today I went to my friend's mum's funeral. It felt so so very wrong that the event was happening, but I did think the event itself was done beautifully. It made me wonder how I would ever organise such an event. I hope not to have to. I realised it would probably be easiest to do if the person had let their wishes be known. It's quite a hard conversation to bring up with others, so as a first step I thought I would write my own wishes down.
My number one thought is that I don't mind what happens. I feel a funeral is far more for the living than for the person being remembered. So even if the event turns out to be something that I would consider ghastly, if those that have organised it are happy, then that would make me happy. What I really want is for no one to fall out over the arrangements, thinking that someone is doing something wrong. If everyone gets along and is happy then horray!
That being said, just in case those organising would like some pointers, here are my next thoughts!
I wouldn't want it to be a massively sober affair. I like the thought of there being laughter and joking and colour. Make jokes at my expense - I'm sure my sister could have lots of ammunition 😉 I don't like people's eulogies making them seem like saints. I'd much rather it be a balanced account. I don't think there's any need for flowers or to be honest I'm not even sure why there's a need for a collection. But it is nice to support charities. I wouldn't mind where a service was or what format it would take. I wouldn't mind who would speak or what music or readings there were. Though now I feel I'm going off the point of this post which was to try and help those organising, so maybe I should think of some. Fun music is good. Check my jump around playlist. Or something Disney is nice. 'Remember the magic' (Disney) and 'old friends' (Dolly Parton and someone) I both like but might be a bit somber tear jerkers.
I remember reading and studying the poem 'Remember' at school by Christina Rossetti. And I liked the sentiment of it being OK to forget and to smile. I think I have heard better modern ones so am happy with something else, but along the lines of it's ok to move on and be cheerful again.
Would also just like to take a moment to mention tears. Having said I don't want it to be somber, I'll also mention that I love a good cry - normally over a book or over a film. So it's also fine to have tears at my funeral if that's what you need.
I don't particularly want to be buried as land seems a precious resource. Ideally as much would go to medical research as possible, but the research I have done in to that makes it seem very complicated and makes death more stressful I think. And so I haven't filled out the forms for it. So maybe cremation would be best and you can scatter or keep ashes as you please. I would imagine scatter would be better as I think it's a little peculiar to have an urn on the mantelpiece, but as you wish!
So I think that's all I can think of for the moment. Hope it might help. I'm going to publish it but publish a lot more after it in quick succession so it drops down the list. And I'll need to tell someone that the list is here!
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