Bonnie Anne - Two Months Old

John went back to work and it was time for me to go solo...  Mum was here for the first two days which helped with the transition. It's then been an up and down month.  Early on Bonnie seemed to have such pained wind that was pretty distressing.  That seemed better the following week and then Bonnie got her harness for developmental dysplasia of the hip.  At that time Bonnie's feeding seemed to become more problematic and we had a screamy baby for several days.  Then we settled back into a good routine for about a week, then came some unsettled nights with a tired mamma during the day. The month ended well with Bonnie's first trips away to Malvern and up to Orkney.

Highlights of the month

• seeing smiley happy girl.  She particularly seemed to smile at night which always brightened the bleary eyed mother.  In the last week she has smiled more and more and made me feel very special by seeming to smile particularly more at me
• when bathing our girl at the NOC during the first harness change, it felt so special to see how tiny she looked again with no clothes or harness.
• baby college lunches. Having braved the ridiculously named Baby College classes, I was rewarded by a lovely burger Monday lunch out with really nice other mums.
• royal wedding.  Very exciting to watch especially as it was in Malvern with a family party with bunting!
• Brasenose chapel and formal hall.  Far beyond my comfort zone, but we were invited and encouraged by kind people so we went with it and enjoyed it! It also encouraged me that we can do lots with Bonnie - just got to go for it and not worry!
• reusable nappies.  I did read beforehand that you can find yourself enjoying reusable nappies and surprisingly it's true! I have enjoyed talking to people about them and sharing the benefits and also find the joy in having them drying them on the balcony and folding them ready to use.
• trying out groups. Definitely a nervous endeavour but feel proud of all that I've been to.
• Being in Orkney.  A wonderfully restful holiday delighting in the tranquility of Orkney.  The weather was beautiful: clear skies, fresh breeze and even warm.  Special time with Aunty and an amazing time finding Happy Valley.

Tough bits of the month

• Bonnie's very pained cries after feeding and not being able to wind her.  The first week of the month was tough and a lot of time spent walking and patting her after each feed.  Pleased and surprised that that has died down and she seems to burp herself now.
• Finding out she needed a harness as her hips aren't correct. Quite a shocker at the NOC when we thought she was just having her turning in feet checked out.  The ultra-sound revealed her right hip socket was flat rather than round.  The physios were very efficient and put the pavlik harness on her explaining everything to us. It's really good that it was picked up early and should be corrected in such a non-invasive way which doesn't bother her at all.  But it still left me sobbing in the afternoon while cuddling her not wanting her to have to have anything wrong.  It definitely made me feel like a mummy.  And I was grateful for the reminder of just how precious she is and how fortunate we are to have her with us and so I gave extra tight cuddles.
• screams when trying to feed, not latching. It was a tough few days when the harness came as feeding seemed to go backwards and we weren't really getting there.  I asked John to get up the first night each time as I didn't feel strong enough to do it on my own and wanted the support.  Fortunately after a few days, feeding got back on track.
• back and shoulders and arms.  The first month I was concerned about my back aching when I was breastfeeding.  That's generally better now but still aches after I hold her for more than 10 minutes or so.  Now it is my shoulders that hurt more.  I have been breastfeeding her with my arm between her legs since she has had the harness and that has particularly seemed to trouble my left shoulder.  And has also moved down my arms sometimes.  I have tried one upper body post natal youtube yoga video, and I should try find time to do that more.
• In the last week I have started to feel more tired.  I had a couple of more disturbed nights with Bonnie and noted the after effects in the day and even managed my first afternoon snooze.   I had been feeling rather guilty at not feeling as tired as everyone suggested I should be!
• Baby acne.  You were covered in spots all over your face and chest as well.  It got to the stage that your cheeks seemed just one big roughness but now you are spot free and soft cheeked gorgeousness again.

Eating
After the trouble in the middle of the month Bonnie is so much stronger and knows what she is doing compared to month one.  Well done little one! Or not-so-little-one as you are growing so well with your eating.  She definitely seems very chunky now but I guess a lot of that could be from the harness.  Generally speaking you are feeding every three hours.  Sometimes it's more often but we have learnt that is often just snacking and doesn't reset the three hours!  It's usually one side but sometimes two, although the second side can result in a lot of sick up on the breast!  You don't feed for very long - 5-10 minutes.

Sleeping
Most nights are good nights I think.  You usually wake every 3 hours for feeding and then there is settling time.  The settling time has reduced which means my total awake time has gone from an hour, to 45 mins and now more often like 30 minutes and we even managed an 11 minute one this week! It has helped that you are not needing so much winding as at the beginning which tended to wake you up and then require lots of walking the carpet. Now sometimes I don't even get out of bed at all if the pram is right next to me. School nights we spend in the spare room to allow John to get some good sleep which seems to work. I have really enjoyed eating lots of snacks in the night feeds.  I feel now that I don't actually need them, so it is really best for me if I don't head into the kitchen at night!  A bad night would involve more frequent get ups than every three hours, and a girl who is awake after a feed or even so awake that we have a two hour wander/netflix time in the middle of the night (only a handful of those so far).  You still only go to sleep in our arms, or out and about in the pram or car.  The sling also works really well usually at getting you to sleep and we have had several meals with you in the sling snoozing while we drop food on your head! There is the odd indication where you might be making progress in falling asleep in your pram when awake; you've settled yourself when waking when we've put you down a couple of times.

Likes
Happy on the changing mat now.
Looking at ceiling lights whether they are on or off.
About 15 mins play mat time of looking at the hanging things and occasionally batting them.
white noise played by Alexa.  I'm slightly worried you will think your name is Alexa rather than Bonnie!  You even seem to settle now when Alexa says 'white noise to help your baby sleep, sleep through the night by baby white noise, from spotify'.
car journeys- you are even chilled awake now sometimes!
Being held out in front of you.
Just at the end of the month we had the first thing that seemed to create a smile in you.  Singing 'row row row your boat' with the verse that Aunty Helen taught us: 'if you hear a hissing sound it might be a snake, sssssssss'.  After the ssssss she smiled on at least 3 repeats!

Dislikes
Arms being put in clothes.
Lying down to go to sleep.

Changes (a new category for things that I can't seem to put in the other subheadings!)
You are liking licking the back of your right hand as a sort of comfort when you're fussy.  You are getting closer to putting fingers in your mouth.
You are just outgrowing size one nappies and finding size two roomier!  We still change at most feeds, though not quite as consistently anymore.
You're losing hair - like your daddy you're thinning on top!
So much more alert this month.  You will spend a long time looking at us. Special!

I realise the grammar in this is totally random with me sometimes referring to Bonnie in the third person and sometimes writing to you!