Blogging with baby

I have had quite a few blog posts running through my head whilst out and about with Bonnie.  I like the thought of keeping a blog through this wonderful adventure of parenthood but realise that actually making the time to record may not be that easy, but I'll have a go making a start.

Bonnie is currently nearly 8 weeks old and I am trying hard to appreciate this time, as I feel I have got it very good at the moment.  Funnily enough, at that point Bonnie started screaming so I had to get up and come back to this a bit later! She is in a sling on my front and for now she is breathing heavily and is asleep.  So back to this being a good time and appreciating it.  I feel this is the time that I am going to be able to do most 'me' things as she sleeps for most of the day and is non mobile so when she is awake, I can still go to the toilet etc without her getting up to mischief!  I also feel we have a good girl who sleeps pretty consistently at night (whilst waking every 3 hours to feed), travels happily in the car, is feeding well at the moment and an usually can be settled to sleep quickly in the sling to give me hands free time.  Also, we have been encouraged to have Bonnie in the sling a lot to help her hip so that's a bonus.  Our baby isn't on a schedule so we can pick her up and travel about doing what we would normally do without too many considerations.  Way to go Bonnie!

I have been delighted with how much I have been enjoying life with our girl. The feeling of love for her is so immense and such a fantastically special feeling.  But I think you can still have that feeling, without enjoying this stage of life in the here and now.  I have been mulling it over and think my enjoyment is probably due to two reasons.

1. Bonnie is a good baby.  Lots of people have asked 'Is she a good baby?' and my answer is usually 'I don't really know because we don't have anything to compare her to, but I think so. We are going to keep her!' 
2. My expectations for this time were really low.  A new parent, a few years ago said:  'No one says just how hard it is'. That stuck with me and tallies with things others have said (most commonly 'sleep when baby sleeps') so I was really expecting to be beyond tired with a constantly crying baby and getting nothing done at all all day.  Also, all the messages I have had from recent parents since having Bonnie, have shared the tough things they have experienced too. With this in mind, I had low expectations so anything I have achieved has felt super exciting and worth congratulating myself for and left me feeling happy even though I might not really have done that much.
3. OK I thought of a third (Four Weddings Flashback) although it is pretty closes related to the second. I have allowed myself and given myself permission to take it easy.  I had a morning where Bonnie was being quite tetchy and wouldn't settled and we had not had a particularly good night.  I had been jiggling her around trying to get her asleep and also tidy the kitchen.  About midday, it occurred to me that maybe it was going to be one of those days and I should forget about going to rhyme time in the afternoon and instead call the day 'a cuddles and box set on the sofa day' and then I relaxed and we had a nice day together.  And I think Bonnie probably settled once I was more relaxed too.

Now the trouble with feeling happy and enjoying this time, is that I can't really say that to any other new mums.  I don't want to be the annoying mum who is so upbeat and appears to have everything together with the dream baby and so makes everyone else feel bad and hate them.  I don't think I really have it all together, it's just that thing that my expectations are lower.  And less selfishly, but more importantly, a big part of feeling good is knowing it's ok to have low expectations because others have or are experiencing the same things.  The encouragement and empathy have I received have really carried me through.  Whether it's texts from my friends reminiscing about their early parenthood days, or mothers at groups marveling that we are out the house, it has all helped me to feel good about where I am at.  At the lunch after the baby group on Monday, a mother with a 3 week old 'confessed' to leaving her baby crying while she showered.  We all sympathised and said its fantastic she showered at all.  She then said that it wasn't until speaking to us that she realised it was ok not to shower or have a baby crying.  It made me sad that she didn't have people telling her it was ok to be struggling to do stuff and so I'm keen to share as many of my struggles with others as possible!  There's another idea for a post!

So I shall try to commence a few little posts I have had in mind while Bonnie still sleeps in the sling, but to be honest, I shall probably just eat my lunch (which I made while jiggling around in the sling to get Bonnie to sleep) and watch ER!