Blogging with baby

I have had quite a few blog posts running through my head whilst out and about with Bonnie.  I like the thought of keeping a blog through this wonderful adventure of parenthood but realise that actually making the time to record may not be that easy, but I'll have a go making a start.

Bonnie is currently nearly 8 weeks old and I am trying hard to appreciate this time, as I feel I have got it very good at the moment.  Funnily enough, at that point Bonnie started screaming so I had to get up and come back to this a bit later! She is in a sling on my front and for now she is breathing heavily and is asleep.  So back to this being a good time and appreciating it.  I feel this is the time that I am going to be able to do most 'me' things as she sleeps for most of the day and is non mobile so when she is awake, I can still go to the toilet etc without her getting up to mischief!  I also feel we have a good girl who sleeps pretty consistently at night (whilst waking every 3 hours to feed), travels happily in the car, is feeding well at the moment and an usually can be settled to sleep quickly in the sling to give me hands free time.  Also, we have been encouraged to have Bonnie in the sling a lot to help her hip so that's a bonus.  Our baby isn't on a schedule so we can pick her up and travel about doing what we would normally do without too many considerations.  Way to go Bonnie!

I have been delighted with how much I have been enjoying life with our girl. The feeling of love for her is so immense and such a fantastically special feeling.  But I think you can still have that feeling, without enjoying this stage of life in the here and now.  I have been mulling it over and think my enjoyment is probably due to two reasons.

1. Bonnie is a good baby.  Lots of people have asked 'Is she a good baby?' and my answer is usually 'I don't really know because we don't have anything to compare her to, but I think so. We are going to keep her!' 
2. My expectations for this time were really low.  A new parent, a few years ago said:  'No one says just how hard it is'. That stuck with me and tallies with things others have said (most commonly 'sleep when baby sleeps') so I was really expecting to be beyond tired with a constantly crying baby and getting nothing done at all all day.  Also, all the messages I have had from recent parents since having Bonnie, have shared the tough things they have experienced too. With this in mind, I had low expectations so anything I have achieved has felt super exciting and worth congratulating myself for and left me feeling happy even though I might not really have done that much.
3. OK I thought of a third (Four Weddings Flashback) although it is pretty closes related to the second. I have allowed myself and given myself permission to take it easy.  I had a morning where Bonnie was being quite tetchy and wouldn't settled and we had not had a particularly good night.  I had been jiggling her around trying to get her asleep and also tidy the kitchen.  About midday, it occurred to me that maybe it was going to be one of those days and I should forget about going to rhyme time in the afternoon and instead call the day 'a cuddles and box set on the sofa day' and then I relaxed and we had a nice day together.  And I think Bonnie probably settled once I was more relaxed too.

Now the trouble with feeling happy and enjoying this time, is that I can't really say that to any other new mums.  I don't want to be the annoying mum who is so upbeat and appears to have everything together with the dream baby and so makes everyone else feel bad and hate them.  I don't think I really have it all together, it's just that thing that my expectations are lower.  And less selfishly, but more importantly, a big part of feeling good is knowing it's ok to have low expectations because others have or are experiencing the same things.  The encouragement and empathy have I received have really carried me through.  Whether it's texts from my friends reminiscing about their early parenthood days, or mothers at groups marveling that we are out the house, it has all helped me to feel good about where I am at.  At the lunch after the baby group on Monday, a mother with a 3 week old 'confessed' to leaving her baby crying while she showered.  We all sympathised and said its fantastic she showered at all.  She then said that it wasn't until speaking to us that she realised it was ok not to shower or have a baby crying.  It made me sad that she didn't have people telling her it was ok to be struggling to do stuff and so I'm keen to share as many of my struggles with others as possible!  There's another idea for a post!

So I shall try to commence a few little posts I have had in mind while Bonnie still sleeps in the sling, but to be honest, I shall probably just eat my lunch (which I made while jiggling around in the sling to get Bonnie to sleep) and watch ER!

Flowering Cactus

Six years ago I was giving a flowering cactus by a somewhat tricky boy in my class as a Christmas present. What a nice idea and it had lovely flowers.  It moved here when we married and I even repotted it at one point into a bigger pot.  It has spent some time on the balcony and got somewhat munched until I rescued it and brought it back in.

When we came back from the hospital, I wondered if my eyes decieved me, or were there some tiny tiny pink buds on the ends of the leaves??? After a few days I felt confident enough to ask John if he had noticed them.  And now, a month on, we actually have some flowers!!  And lots of buds! How exciting that it has finally flowered after 6 years.

Exceptional ER Episodes

While I was pregnant I finished watching all the seasons of ER.  When I was on maternity leave waiting for our baby to come, I decided to start from the beginning again and watched a few episodes.  Today I decided to carry on and watched Season 1, Episode 10, Blizzard.  It was one of those that makes me go wow and shake my head in admiration.  I love ER but sometimes an episode takes it to the next level and really stands out.  I decided to make a list of those episodes as I go through the 15 seasons again.

• Season 1 - Episode 10 - Blizzard

I love the larks the staff get up to at the beginning while there are no patients during the blizzard (Mark and Susan casting Carter, spinny chair basketball) and then the drama of the preparations for the arrival of the mass casualties.  And then the discovery of Dr Bob!


And when I have made it to the end of them all, I will try read this article and see how many of these were on my list: 10 episodes that will remind you why ER was the top drama of the '90s

Bonnie Anne - 1 Month Old

I have read baby milestone posts on blogs for quite a few years and decided it's time to have a go at doing one for my precious little girl, Bonnie Annie Grace.  She is now actually 5weeks and 5days but I will try to think back to her being a month old.  Fortunately Mum gave me some really cute Peter Rabbit milestone cards so I have the incentive to take photos every month so that should spur me on and remind me to record on here too.

  (I knitted this penguin when I was pregnant and it certainly turned out larger than I was expecting!  Hopefully useful though for size comparison photos over the months)

I am also recording in other ways too:

• I have a Peter Rabbit baby book for Bonnie for a keepsake. 
• I have written down my memories of birth and being in the hospital in a notebook. 
• I have been really enjoying jotting things down in the New Mum's Notebook I was gifted just before Bonnie was born. 
• Keeping a brief daily record of the things we do each day in a diary.

I described the first month like this to a friend yesterday:
Week 1 - living feed to feed on the three hour cycle, never really feeling we could look further ahead.
Week 2 - taking a deep breath and trying getting out and about a bit.  Each outing was a big deal.
Week 3 - feeling more confident that we can actually manage to get out.
Week 4 - yay - let's go on adventures and enjoy life as a family of three.
It has been so special that John has been around for the whole first month of Bonnie's life.  We have loved being all together and learning together.

Highlights of the month

• having baby girl on me for the first time. It was amazing after 35 hours of labour to have our baby lifted up to me and put on my chest.  Made all the labour and pregnancy worthwhile instantly.  It was a short while till we knew if she was a boy or a girl.
• every time I have looked at her and been amazed that she is ours and we get to keep her and feeling overwhelmed with love that I am brought to tears
• not having to cook for a month! Between gousto, very generous and super chef parents, and a two week meal rota from CCC life has been wonderfully cooking-free for me.
• choosing and sharing her name.  We narrowed it down from the short list of 27 girls names and on day 9 she was finally named.  And we are very happy with her name.
• having her sleep on me.  So lovely when she looks all snug and sleepy.
• watching the commonwealth games with her - perfect timing having 10 nights of entertainment just after she was born.  I became a big fan of the netball.
• feeling excitedly free when Bonnie slept in her pram for the first time.  As precious as it is to have her sleep on us and nice to know that's what makes her feel safe, it was great to have her asleep in the pram so John and I could do things at the same time, including sleep at the same time!
• being humbled by the number of cards and gifts sent to us.  Wow.
• watching our little girl lap up her milk from a cup - who knew that was a thing?!
• then feeling we were nailing this feeding malarkey! Woop woop goodbye pump and now feeding out and about.
• feeling confident enough to go on adventures as a family of three: Cotswolds walk, National Trust house, Crazy Bear farm shop.
• not having to take gaviscon any more - amazing realisation the first morning after she was born that I hadn't been up in the night and then clearing out all the bottles back home.  And enjoying chocolate again.
• midwives being amazed that Bonnie had put on 170g in 2 days
• learning things to do that sooth Bonnie and feeling we are beginning to know our baby girl.

Tough bits of the month
I think I'm a very positive person in life and that hasn't stopped since having Bonnie.  I feel we have been blessed with a wonderful baby.  We haven't got anything to compare her to, but hearing other people's stories, I'm pretty sure we have a good one and we are keeping her!  That said, I think it helps to realise how good you have it, if you also record the things that have maybe been struggles.  It also stops me being one of those really annoying mothers that everyone gives evils to at groups as they are sugar coating it all to appear a supermum! And also, hearing about things that have gone wrong or been hard for others has really helped me.  I think that might actually be part of the reason why I feel things are going so well: I have pretty low expectations and was really expecting it to be hard and had been told that tough is normal.  Anyway, here's a list:

• losing a litre and a half of blood
• being in pain and exhausted walking to Sainsbury's
• not knowing if we would ever be able to put Bonnie down
• struggling to feed our baby girl
• expressing into a syringe when really tired
• flinching as I turned on the breast pump
• trying to comfort our baby crying in pain and not being able to wind her

Eating
 First two weeks was mainly expressed breast milk whilst always offering her the breast.  I kept detailed notes of how long she breast fed, how much she drank from the cup, and how many ml I pumped.  By day 5 Bonnie had lost 11% of her birth weight so the midwives put us on a feeding plan and referred us to the infant feeding team at the JR.  We also went to a baby cafe and by two weeks she was back to birth weight and we were then able to reduce the amount of pumping until she was just breast feeding by the end of the month.

Sleeping
Interesting... by the end of the month she would sleep in her pram, but only after falling properly asleep on someone or if we were out for a walk.  She would wake every three hours for a feed in the night and I would usually be back asleep in an hour.  I did a lot of paces around the lounge.

Likes
Classic fm.
Being jiggled by daddy, including on the bouncy ball.
Bumpy terrain in the car or pram - the more pot holes the better.
Being snug in the sling - usually sends her straight to sleep.

Dislikes
Being on the changing mat.

Early days writing

One of the special things after having a baby was sharing the news with friends and family.  We were inundated with messages and although most people said 'no need to reply' I still wanted to be in touch at some point but just struggled to find the time to write.  I ended up writing a long generic story of the early days to share with those that expressed an interest - usually recent mums.  I thought I would record the message here:

Just found some time to message so here are a few updates on life so far since delivery.
Labour itself was ok - at least I’m not thinking too detaily about it now! 36 hours since start of contractions but alright. She weighed 3.23kg when born at 8am on Friday.
I lost 1.5 litres of blood after birth. A really horrible time for John as I was fairly out of it but we were really impressed with care at the hospital. Baby was fine which was so wonderful and I was on observation ward till sat morning. My heart rate remained high but came down to an acceptable level. Moved to regular post-delivery room Saturday. Fainted once on Saturday (when I was about to change my first nappy 😉) and so had an iron iv infusion. Came home Sunday afternoon with antibiotics and blood thinning injections.
Baby girl has been really good, just kept an eye on a little jaundice but that is going with more regular feeding. My state and her sleepy jaundice made breast feeding tricky but we are trying and it’s improving. John and I were both wonderfully impressed with the staff and the care we were given, felt thoroughly well looked after and reassured.
So that’s the medical side... otherwise we are all happy and loving life with her. Totally in love and so excited to have her here. Loads to learn, but excited to be trying and getting used to being tired! 
Grandparents and lizzie (first visitors) stopped by on Monday and looked after us well. Had a gentle day at home Tuesday and Wednesday.
Well thats the detailed update. Sorry if you got more than you bargained for!!

Thank you for your messages, love and support; it means heaps. Have you enjoyed your easter weekend? Hope you’re well. Love from us 3, xxxx


Having sent that to lots of people, a GP friend then asked more questions so I wrote some further details which I shared with a few other medical friends:

Thanks I. for your super message and also the note about not needing to reply soon! It is funny isn’t it how such lovely messages and replying becomes like a chore on the to do list. Sorry that my replying time is at night when she is sleeping on me in the sofa. Although miraculously she did do two one hour stints in her cot today so I’m going to try her there again shortly when I hope she’s sound asleep!
I love that you asked all the medical questions. I will try my best to answer them. Yes I think they think fainting was low haemoglobin. It was 129 at last antenatal check, 100 when checked after blood loss on Friday and then they found out on Saturday after I fainted that it was 79. On Friday I’d made it to the chair at the end of the bed and felt dizzy so didn’t venture further. I also felt dizzy the one time I sat up on side of bed. Doctor asked if I had a sore throat and I said oh yes a bit but I actually think that was more the after effects of all the entonox - loved that stuff! Dr then came back and said he’d checked my white cells and they were a little high so that’s when started me on antibiotics as they were looking for ways to get my heart rate down - think it peaked at 140 and was usually 114. But only once while I was in hospital was my temp slightly raised so my non-medical opinion was that I probably didn’t have an infection at all but was very happy that dr was being cautious and giving me them. Oh a funny thing to me, on Friday night I woke and was leaning over comforting baby in cot and thought my hand was a little sore and looked at canula and realised there was now something attached to it (the antiobiotics) that hadn’t been there when I went to sleep and also now had a pulse monitor on my finger - made me think I must have been so tired not to wake to any of those goings on! They talked on Friday about possibility of iron or blood transfusion and were monitoring to see if needed. After faint on sat they decided on ferinject with the possibility of blood transfusion later. Not sure what caused them to stop there and discharge me in the end, guess because I was no longer symptomatic? I had had some iron tablets at hospital which there was talk of me carrying on at home but in the end no, think because I’d then had ferinject? I’m medicating myself having a green smoothie a day though now at home! Hope that makes some sense - I may well have got a lot confused!!

John broke up for easter on Thursday. He went in in the morning and I called him home at 10am so he almost made it to the end of term. Wonderfully he now has two weeks Easter holiday and then gets to take his two weeks paternity leave so we will have a month together trying to figure this baby thing out!

Right, time to see if baby fancies continuing to sleep in her cot!

Love and thanks again xxx

Wittertainment Baby

Another Witter-fail:

Dear Robin Hood and the Sheriff of Nottingham,

As an LTL and MTECNYRO (many time emailer; correspondence not yet read out) I have a similar story to many wittertainees. I was inducted into the siblings' side-chapel of the church by my sister, Catherine, more than 10 years ago and since then we have played the all too common andrenaline-filled wittertainment game of 'will they/won't they read out my email'. Since joining the church, we have emailed about foolish long distance sporting events, far flung podcast-listening, wittertainment related real-life instances (WRRLIs) and even occasionally about films; so far with no success. On writing this email on Thursday evening Catherine has just headed off to hospital to give birth to her first child- a task for which she feels wildly underprepared as even reading the chapter titles of the childbirth book made her feel nauseous. Although hopefully the worst will be over when the show airs, in case it's not, her only 'birth plan' involved listening to the podcast so I know she would very much appreciate some encouraging words on how you give birth to a baby and how to be a parent from the only doctors she has faith in.

Love the show Steve

Lizzie from Bristol
MSc Global Health
BSc Occupational Therapy
Blue Peter Badge Holder

Baby is here!

Two weeks ago I was in labour and now I am propped up in bed with little Bonnie Anne Grace lying on my chest sleeping away.  She had been a bit fussy this morning so I tried feeding her (and was successful!) and then she fell asleep.  I popped her back to bed in the pram but she started fussing again so I brought her back to the spare bed and decided to relish in the time of her sleeping on me.  Happy days.

I have been watching the commonwealth games, but it is now the men's volleyball final between Australia and Canada which is not interesting me oh so much, so I am working through my list of jobs.

On Monday we went back to the hospital for an appointment with the infant feeding team.  While there we went back to the wards we had spent time on to drop off some cards and chocolates.  Having written the cards, I decided to photograph them and put them on here for a record. The care we received was phenomenal and we were keen to recognise it.

For the midwives on the Spires where we had our little girl:

For Dr Pedro who sewed me up after birth:

 For the midwives who looked after me on the observation ward:

 For the midwives who looked after us on the post-delivery ward:

And here is what I wrote on the online feedback:

Maternity Labour Ward

I had been unsure about using the Spires Unit, but am so pleased I did as I was so impressed with the staff the whole time who made it a great experience.  From ringing MAU during the early stages of labour, I was impressed with the care they took on the phone to listen to me and give me detailed advice.  At the Spires, our midwife Sandra, took the time to make us feel comfortable and gave us reassurance when needed and gave us time to ourselves when needed.  Immediately after the birth, I lost a lot of blood, but throughout that traumatic time, the staff (there were somehow suddenly about 5 of them in the room) remained calm and professional and explained what was happening to me.  I was taken quickly and calmly down to Level 2 to be stitched up, where I continued to receive excellent care. There seemed to be so many people in the room, but everyone communicated calmly and efficiently with each other and talked to me when needed.  Dr Pedro sewed me up and I was ever so impressed with his bedside manner throughout. 

Maternity Postnatal Ward 

Having given birth on the Spires, I was brought down to Level 2 for stitches and then spent 24 hours on the Observation Ward on Level 2.  Ceri was the midwifery student who helped look after us immediately after being stitched.  It was wonderful that she took the time to be with us and reassure us and helped us with our first breast feeding attempt.  We loved her demeanour and presence in the room with us.  It felt a very special time. In the observation ward we were looked after by midwife Chloe.  We were impressed and felt confident in her medical care, but it was her personal care and friendly nature which meant the world to us.  She took the time to be with us and was always smiley and calm which really helped us during this overwhelming time.   We were also grateful for the visits of Dr Pedro to explain my continuing care.

Maternity Postnatal Community  

I have been fortunate not to have to use the NHS very much and I had no idea of the postnatal community midwife service available till I gave birth to my daughter on 30th March.  I was amazed and delighted by the high number of visits and the phone calls I received during these two weeks.  Most of the midwives were so warm and encouraging and it was a wonderful experience to have them visit our home.  Being a new parent, everything seemed turned upside down and was so new with lots to get used to, that I really valued the midwives' visits as something to aim towards each day and to live off their encouragement.  I was particularly impressed with Alice who visited and called more than once, and also with Miriam who visited and with the students who came.  I was very impressed that there was a session in Florence Park on a Sunday where we were able to go to be discharged. 

I was very grateful to have the support with breast feeding my baby.  It was not a straight forward start and Miriam and Alice really encouraged me through this time.  I was very grateful to be provided with the breast pump and shown how to use it.  I was well prepared by Alice for my daughter to have lost more than 10% of her birth weight by day 5 and the feeding plan was already in place.  There were occasional differences in advice over feeding technique but generally the advice was the same.  I was really pleased with the referral to the Infant Feeding Team at the JR which was very useful to go to.

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