Musical - Hairspray

Well I wasn't expecting to be writing about a trip to the theatre so soon after having Bonnie!  John very kindly bought me a ticket to see Hairspray in Oxford as a treat for looking after our little girl.  This was rather sooner than I would have left Bonnie (nearly 3 months old), but John wanted me to have a good time so I thought I would do my best not to think too much about what might be going on at home and enjoy the show.

I defrosted some milk, having no idea whether Bonnie would drink from a bottle or cup.  I fed her at 6.30 and unusually she fell asleep so I popped her in her bed and set off.  It was funny dressing and thinking that I didn't need a nursing appropriate top and I had to find a handbag to take!  I cycled to the theatre which was the first time in a long time - and sadly my tires were rather flat.

I made it and got to my seat.  The balcony was closed and the circle probably only half full which I felt was rather a disappointment for such a fun show on a Friday night. The show was really good.  I was expecting to enjoy the show as I had seen it twice before and know the music well, but it pleased me more than I expected. There were quite a few songs that I had forgotten about and found myself singing along to (in my head).  I loved the colours, clothes, dance numbers and general spectacle.  You can't stop the beat is still a definite highlight.  I find the story line and politics most interesting, and although the character motives are highly undeveloped I guess that's not the point of a musical.

And amazingly I got home at 10.30 and our little one had slept the whole time!!  What a girl!

Weekly chores

I'm enjoying blogging on my new blog, but felt this was a post more suited to here than there. I have now given the new blog address to two people and I think from the stats that one of them has looked at it, but that could just have been me!

Anyway, back to the chores.  When John first went back to work, my aim for the day was a shower and to do the washing up.  I had a list of other things I would like to get done at some point but they were non-essential and could be done at any point if the situation arrived. I was also really lucky that my mum and in-laws were very keen to help out and do jobs when they visited.  Aren't I a lucky new mummy.  So I started a list of things that I used to do, but wasn't doing anymore.  It included things like cleaning the inside of the microwave. 

Now that I was 6 weeks into this new routine, I decided I could start a daily household chore and I lay in bed coming up with ideas.  So I wrote them down, stuck it on the fridge and I have now done a week of it and am feeling very pleased to have accomplished them all.  I am not giving myself a particular time to do it during the day, the hope is that just at some point time (or Bonnie) will allow me to do it.  So here's the list:

Daily
wash up
laundry
prepare tea

Weekly
Monday - clear out/clean fridge and freezer
Tuesday - bins (empty and wipe out)
Wednesday - bathroom
Thursday - Bonnie's room
Friday - hoover (ready for any visitors at the weekend!)

Now I don't have to clean the whole bathroom every Wednesday.  I just need to do a bit of it each week. So this week I did the toilet, sink, outside of shower screen and end of the bath.  Hopefully next week I will do some of those and the shower head or inside shower screen.  And obviously I don't only empty bins on Tuesday but I want to make sure I clean some of them on a Tuesday.

Last weekend I also redid the meal planner with two weeks worth of simple meals that I felt I'd be able to prepare, more or less anything without a recipe.  I did an online order and have managed to make some of them this week. Here's that list:

Monday - Vegi haggis, vegetable biriyani
Tuesday - CCC
Wednesday - jacket potato, laksa noodles
Thursday - meatballs and linguine, pancakes
Friday - sausage and mash, pasta bake
Saturday - salmon tikka, fish finger baguette
Sunday - veg lasagne, wraps

I did slightly more complicated ones (well, the lasagne) at the weekend, thinking we might be out and so I wouldn't have to make it that much, but if so would hopefully have more time!  I am keen to keep these meals for a while, but I know John tends to get bored of the same thing after a while.

I wonder how long I will keep all of this up?!

Parental Thoughts

Parental thoughts - written back in August 2017 and read again for the first time today.

With the possibility of being pregnant, I have been surprised how much I've been enjoying thinking about the future world of parenting. I've always found it a very terrifying thought before and still do really. The thought of being responsible for a whole human and how they turn out. What if I mess up? I think of the nice parents of the troublesome children at school - what if that happens to us? I know that really, I will mess up, lots. I've just got to hope it's not in too damaging a way. I also know that parenting is going to be hard and tiring and then tiring and tough some more. A few first time parents have spilled the beans and said no one ever really says how tough it is. We will struggle but I want to remember to invest in our marriage and keep that the most important thing and not to let the tiredness take over.

But enough of the depressing thoughts for now. With all these anticipatory thoughts I've been having, I thought I'd create a list of the plans I have.

Number one on the list though is, anything can change when you are in the position so don't judge and expect this whole list to get turned upside down when reality strikes, or maybe just when I've done a bit more research! When that happens, I hope this list will be a funny reminder of how naive I was!

2. I hope I will be happy about my child eating dirt. I remember watching M.W. putting stones in her mouth and her parents watching on quite contentedly. I'd rather not have to sterilise a spoon every time it drops on the floor.  I have buyed into the thought that we overly clean things so children don't build up immunity and that's why there are so many allergies etc now.
3. Laughing whenever baby gets a bump. I would love my child to brush off any knocks and scrapes without tears. C/o family B.
4. Fit the child around our life, not life around the child. Very easy to say but very hard in practice I imagine.
5. I'd like to be a laid back parent, and generally consider myself a carefree person, but given my anxiety around houses without stair gates, I'm not sure that will be me!
6. I don't want to buy any toys except maybe for birthdays. I'm sure they will be given plenty and probably don't need anything we don't have in the house anyway. As they grow I want to try and keep toys for birthdays and Christmas so that they really are a special treat. Books from charity shops will be ok though! S.L. and family M.
7. I don't want to spend a lot on baby equipment either in a keeping up with the Jones' way. I'd rather make do without or get second hand. I think family H are a good example there of not bowing to peer pressure.
8. A long term thing, but I'd love to do the character first monthly value scheme which I read about in a homeschool blog.

I am generally pretty worried of being clueless in handling a baby. I like to feel I know what I'm doing and can't really imagine going anywhere when I'm not sure how to manage. I want to be confident in getting baby and buggy in and out of car. I want to be confident breastfeeding in public. I want to be confident changing nappies. I can't at the moment imagine going by myself to a baby group but will really want to. I hope I can be brave.

Hehe - that was fun to read and I'm quite impressed with it really.  I think we are doing pretty well on the sort of parents we want to be so far.  I'll hopefully read again each year and see how things have changed and write a little comment.

2.  Well, she hasn't eaten dirt yet, but we have been laid back with cleanliness.  No one has had to wash their hands before touching her.
3. Ask in another year...
4. Feel we are doing that one really well at the moment.  Going to formal hall, flying to Orkney.  Loving that she isn't on a schedule at the moment so we don't have to fit around her.
5. So far I've surprised myself with how chilled I have been. My most anxious times are checking she is covered up from the sun.
6. We have been pretty good at not buying things so far.  I bought a personalised plate for the wall and two bambi items of clothing, but I think that's it so far.
7.  This one is quite incredible.  We have really bought so very very little for her.  So many friends have passed on the big things she needs and we have been gifted pretty much everything else.  We bought a sleeping bag suit thing which we don't use and lots of nappies, wipes and cotton wool, but I think everything else has been given to us.  So blessed.
8. Had forgotten about that one but a useful reminder.  

The final paragraph was special to read now.
I am generally pretty worried of being clueless in handling a baby. I like to feel I know what I'm doing and can't really imagine going anywhere when I'm not sure how to manage. I want to be confident in getting baby and buggy in and out of car. Check I want to be confident breastfeeding in public. Check I want to be confident changing nappies. Check I can't at the moment imagine going by myself to a baby group but will really want to. Check I hope I can be brave. Well done Mummy - I think you are :-)

Blogging updates

I've excitedly started my new blog for all the parenting posts: Blogging with baby.  I've copied over some of the posts from here and will continue on that blog for all baby things.  I'll still keep this one for musicals and other little things.

I've also backdated a post into August of my early pregnancy feelings.

Bonnie Anne - Two Months Old

John went back to work and it was time for me to go solo...  Mum was here for the first two days which helped with the transition. It's then been an up and down month.  Early on Bonnie seemed to have such pained wind that was pretty distressing.  That seemed better the following week and then Bonnie got her harness for developmental dysplasia of the hip.  At that time Bonnie's feeding seemed to become more problematic and we had a screamy baby for several days.  Then we settled back into a good routine for about a week, then came some unsettled nights with a tired mamma during the day. The month ended well with Bonnie's first trips away to Malvern and up to Orkney.

Highlights of the month

• seeing smiley happy girl.  She particularly seemed to smile at night which always brightened the bleary eyed mother.  In the last week she has smiled more and more and made me feel very special by seeming to smile particularly more at me
• when bathing our girl at the NOC during the first harness change, it felt so special to see how tiny she looked again with no clothes or harness.
• baby college lunches. Having braved the ridiculously named Baby College classes, I was rewarded by a lovely burger Monday lunch out with really nice other mums.
• royal wedding.  Very exciting to watch especially as it was in Malvern with a family party with bunting!
• Brasenose chapel and formal hall.  Far beyond my comfort zone, but we were invited and encouraged by kind people so we went with it and enjoyed it! It also encouraged me that we can do lots with Bonnie - just got to go for it and not worry!
• reusable nappies.  I did read beforehand that you can find yourself enjoying reusable nappies and surprisingly it's true! I have enjoyed talking to people about them and sharing the benefits and also find the joy in having them drying them on the balcony and folding them ready to use.
• trying out groups. Definitely a nervous endeavour but feel proud of all that I've been to.
• Being in Orkney.  A wonderfully restful holiday delighting in the tranquility of Orkney.  The weather was beautiful: clear skies, fresh breeze and even warm.  Special time with Aunty and an amazing time finding Happy Valley.

Tough bits of the month

• Bonnie's very pained cries after feeding and not being able to wind her.  The first week of the month was tough and a lot of time spent walking and patting her after each feed.  Pleased and surprised that that has died down and she seems to burp herself now.
• Finding out she needed a harness as her hips aren't correct. Quite a shocker at the NOC when we thought she was just having her turning in feet checked out.  The ultra-sound revealed her right hip socket was flat rather than round.  The physios were very efficient and put the pavlik harness on her explaining everything to us. It's really good that it was picked up early and should be corrected in such a non-invasive way which doesn't bother her at all.  But it still left me sobbing in the afternoon while cuddling her not wanting her to have to have anything wrong.  It definitely made me feel like a mummy.  And I was grateful for the reminder of just how precious she is and how fortunate we are to have her with us and so I gave extra tight cuddles.
• screams when trying to feed, not latching. It was a tough few days when the harness came as feeding seemed to go backwards and we weren't really getting there.  I asked John to get up the first night each time as I didn't feel strong enough to do it on my own and wanted the support.  Fortunately after a few days, feeding got back on track.
• back and shoulders and arms.  The first month I was concerned about my back aching when I was breastfeeding.  That's generally better now but still aches after I hold her for more than 10 minutes or so.  Now it is my shoulders that hurt more.  I have been breastfeeding her with my arm between her legs since she has had the harness and that has particularly seemed to trouble my left shoulder.  And has also moved down my arms sometimes.  I have tried one upper body post natal youtube yoga video, and I should try find time to do that more.
• In the last week I have started to feel more tired.  I had a couple of more disturbed nights with Bonnie and noted the after effects in the day and even managed my first afternoon snooze.   I had been feeling rather guilty at not feeling as tired as everyone suggested I should be!
• Baby acne.  You were covered in spots all over your face and chest as well.  It got to the stage that your cheeks seemed just one big roughness but now you are spot free and soft cheeked gorgeousness again.

Eating
After the trouble in the middle of the month Bonnie is so much stronger and knows what she is doing compared to month one.  Well done little one! Or not-so-little-one as you are growing so well with your eating.  She definitely seems very chunky now but I guess a lot of that could be from the harness.  Generally speaking you are feeding every three hours.  Sometimes it's more often but we have learnt that is often just snacking and doesn't reset the three hours!  It's usually one side but sometimes two, although the second side can result in a lot of sick up on the breast!  You don't feed for very long - 5-10 minutes.

Sleeping
Most nights are good nights I think.  You usually wake every 3 hours for feeding and then there is settling time.  The settling time has reduced which means my total awake time has gone from an hour, to 45 mins and now more often like 30 minutes and we even managed an 11 minute one this week! It has helped that you are not needing so much winding as at the beginning which tended to wake you up and then require lots of walking the carpet. Now sometimes I don't even get out of bed at all if the pram is right next to me. School nights we spend in the spare room to allow John to get some good sleep which seems to work. I have really enjoyed eating lots of snacks in the night feeds.  I feel now that I don't actually need them, so it is really best for me if I don't head into the kitchen at night!  A bad night would involve more frequent get ups than every three hours, and a girl who is awake after a feed or even so awake that we have a two hour wander/netflix time in the middle of the night (only a handful of those so far).  You still only go to sleep in our arms, or out and about in the pram or car.  The sling also works really well usually at getting you to sleep and we have had several meals with you in the sling snoozing while we drop food on your head! There is the odd indication where you might be making progress in falling asleep in your pram when awake; you've settled yourself when waking when we've put you down a couple of times.

Likes
Happy on the changing mat now.
Looking at ceiling lights whether they are on or off.
About 15 mins play mat time of looking at the hanging things and occasionally batting them.
white noise played by Alexa.  I'm slightly worried you will think your name is Alexa rather than Bonnie!  You even seem to settle now when Alexa says 'white noise to help your baby sleep, sleep through the night by baby white noise, from spotify'.
car journeys- you are even chilled awake now sometimes!
Being held out in front of you.
Just at the end of the month we had the first thing that seemed to create a smile in you.  Singing 'row row row your boat' with the verse that Aunty Helen taught us: 'if you hear a hissing sound it might be a snake, sssssssss'.  After the ssssss she smiled on at least 3 repeats!

Dislikes
Arms being put in clothes.
Lying down to go to sleep.

Changes (a new category for things that I can't seem to put in the other subheadings!)
You are liking licking the back of your right hand as a sort of comfort when you're fussy.  You are getting closer to putting fingers in your mouth.
You are just outgrowing size one nappies and finding size two roomier!  We still change at most feeds, though not quite as consistently anymore.
You're losing hair - like your daddy you're thinning on top!
So much more alert this month.  You will spend a long time looking at us. Special!

I realise the grammar in this is totally random with me sometimes referring to Bonnie in the third person and sometimes writing to you!