Parental Thoughts

Parental thoughts - written back in August 2017 and read again for the first time today.

With the possibility of being pregnant, I have been surprised how much I've been enjoying thinking about the future world of parenting. I've always found it a very terrifying thought before and still do really. The thought of being responsible for a whole human and how they turn out. What if I mess up? I think of the nice parents of the troublesome children at school - what if that happens to us? I know that really, I will mess up, lots. I've just got to hope it's not in too damaging a way. I also know that parenting is going to be hard and tiring and then tiring and tough some more. A few first time parents have spilled the beans and said no one ever really says how tough it is. We will struggle but I want to remember to invest in our marriage and keep that the most important thing and not to let the tiredness take over.

But enough of the depressing thoughts for now. With all these anticipatory thoughts I've been having, I thought I'd create a list of the plans I have.

Number one on the list though is, anything can change when you are in the position so don't judge and expect this whole list to get turned upside down when reality strikes, or maybe just when I've done a bit more research! When that happens, I hope this list will be a funny reminder of how naive I was!

2. I hope I will be happy about my child eating dirt. I remember watching M.W. putting stones in her mouth and her parents watching on quite contentedly. I'd rather not have to sterilise a spoon every time it drops on the floor.  I have buyed into the thought that we overly clean things so children don't build up immunity and that's why there are so many allergies etc now.
3. Laughing whenever baby gets a bump. I would love my child to brush off any knocks and scrapes without tears. C/o family B.
4. Fit the child around our life, not life around the child. Very easy to say but very hard in practice I imagine.
5. I'd like to be a laid back parent, and generally consider myself a carefree person, but given my anxiety around houses without stair gates, I'm not sure that will be me!
6. I don't want to buy any toys except maybe for birthdays. I'm sure they will be given plenty and probably don't need anything we don't have in the house anyway. As they grow I want to try and keep toys for birthdays and Christmas so that they really are a special treat. Books from charity shops will be ok though! S.L. and family M.
7. I don't want to spend a lot on baby equipment either in a keeping up with the Jones' way. I'd rather make do without or get second hand. I think family H are a good example there of not bowing to peer pressure.
8. A long term thing, but I'd love to do the character first monthly value scheme which I read about in a homeschool blog.

I am generally pretty worried of being clueless in handling a baby. I like to feel I know what I'm doing and can't really imagine going anywhere when I'm not sure how to manage. I want to be confident in getting baby and buggy in and out of car. I want to be confident breastfeeding in public. I want to be confident changing nappies. I can't at the moment imagine going by myself to a baby group but will really want to. I hope I can be brave.

Hehe - that was fun to read and I'm quite impressed with it really.  I think we are doing pretty well on the sort of parents we want to be so far.  I'll hopefully read again each year and see how things have changed and write a little comment.

2.  Well, she hasn't eaten dirt yet, but we have been laid back with cleanliness.  No one has had to wash their hands before touching her.
3. Ask in another year...
4. Feel we are doing that one really well at the moment.  Going to formal hall, flying to Orkney.  Loving that she isn't on a schedule at the moment so we don't have to fit around her.
5. So far I've surprised myself with how chilled I have been. My most anxious times are checking she is covered up from the sun.
6. We have been pretty good at not buying things so far.  I bought a personalised plate for the wall and two bambi items of clothing, but I think that's it so far.
7.  This one is quite incredible.  We have really bought so very very little for her.  So many friends have passed on the big things she needs and we have been gifted pretty much everything else.  We bought a sleeping bag suit thing which we don't use and lots of nappies, wipes and cotton wool, but I think everything else has been given to us.  So blessed.
8. Had forgotten about that one but a useful reminder.  

The final paragraph was special to read now.
I am generally pretty worried of being clueless in handling a baby. I like to feel I know what I'm doing and can't really imagine going anywhere when I'm not sure how to manage. I want to be confident in getting baby and buggy in and out of car. Check I want to be confident breastfeeding in public. Check I want to be confident changing nappies. Check I can't at the moment imagine going by myself to a baby group but will really want to. Check I hope I can be brave. Well done Mummy - I think you are :-)